Beware of Pride

Does anyone else feel like the world has become all about the individual? We hear phrases like "You do you", or "whatever makes you happy" and we can see that the world has adopted an "all for me" philosophy. There are many people that are unwilling to make themselves unhappy or uncomfortable for any reason. According to H. W. Goddard, "We are devoted to finding happiness-and we are seeking happiness in ways that guarantee emptiness." Notice that he didn't say ways that guarantee unhappiness; he said emptiness. Unhappiness means- the feeling of not being satisfied or pleased with a situation. But look at the word emptiness. It means-the quality of lacking meaning or sincerity; meaninglessness or the quality of having no value or purpose; futility.

This "all for me" attitude is leaving us feeling empty, with no meaning, no value and no purpose. That sounds so much worse than being unhappy. Why is this happening? When we focus on ourselves, why are we left with nothing? I have a few ideas about that.

 We are often so centered on ourselves that we make sure everyone around us knows they come in second place. They are less important than we are, and we care less about their needs than we do our own. We head off on an adventure to "find ourselves" or to find meaning in life. We may travel the world and see incredible works of art, architecture or natural wonders. When we get home, we have no one to share it all with. We have pushed everyone away in our search for self. We are left empty because we haven't cultivated a relationship with anyone but ourselves.
If focusing on ourselves leaves us empty, what will fill us and what will it fill us with? Sri Chinmoy wrote,

How can one get the greatest joy?
Not by possessing,
But by sacrificing.

How does giving up what we want fill us with joy? It seems backward, but it is reality. Focusing on others and sacrificing for another forces us to let go of our pride,  and our desires. Rather than turning inward, into ourselves, we focus outward, on the needs of others. Sacrifice and being other-focused helps us see from someone else's perspective. We see through their eyes and allow their vision to change us, to help us grow.

 
Think of a woman with a new baby. She spent nine months sharing her body with a tiny human; someone she had never met. During those nine months of morning sickness, fatigue, cravings, swollen ankles and waddling like a duck, she learned to love that little person she had never met. She did everything she could to protect that child. Then when it was time for the child to be born, she went through excruciating pain for a stranger. When she finally holds her baby in her arms, she experiences a feeling of pure love. Is that love just because of the cute, chubby baby she is holding? Or is that love born of sacrifice. All the difficult things she went through caused her to be filled with joy at the sight of her child. Sacrifice is the source of all the joy we will feel in life.

 Our marriages are also filled with sacrifices; some big, some small, all significant. Sacrifice and humility are the antidote to the self-centered, self-focused sin of pride. Sacrifice shows love, and is the source of joy. Humility is the acknowledgement that we are dependent on someone else; not because we have to be, but because we choose to be. In marriage, humility and forgiveness are vital to having joy. Humility and forgiveness help us to realize that life has never been about us as individuals. It teaches us that everyone is valuable and deserves love, respect and compassion. Humility allows us to see the very best in our spouse despite their flaws. Humility and sacrifice allow us to love with our whole souls and be left filled.