The more I learn about marriage, the more grateful I am for mine. I'm in my second week of an online marriage class at Brigham Young University-Idaho, and I'm already shocked at what I've learned. I mean, I knew that the definition of marriage was changing, and that alternative lifestyles were becoming more mainstream, but I didn't realize the extent of the mass exodus the institution as a whole was experiencing. And it isn't just the divorce rate that is alarming. The most disturbing trend is the number of Americans who eschew making marriage commitments all together. "Middle America", the majority of Americans who are high school educated, but not college educated, are more likely to live together, but never get married. Many might ask "What's the big deal?" or " Why does that matter?". This decision doesn't just affect the couple and children who live in the same home. It affects society as a whole; the very stability of our homes, communities and nations. Marriage matters. It matters greatly.
Marriage isn't just an agreement. We don't sign a document, repeat some words and move on with our lives. Marriages and families are a place that enable children to thrive, they strengthen our communities, help family members to succeed during good times and to weather the bad times. Families and marriages are our first line of defense against the storms of life. It is where we should find love, support, strength and joy. The commitment should be more than names signed on a piece of paper. It should be promises etched in our hearts.
When we choose not to make a commitment to our significant other, and live together or co-habitate (that is such a unattractive way to describe it), the entire relationship lacks anything official or binding. There isn't any of the "sticky stuff" to hold everyone together. Many would disagree, and argue that the piece of paper shouldn't mean anything, but it does. Making the commitment changes our mindset. It lifts our relationship from disposable to valuable. It makes it more painful, and difficult to walk away, and we become more invested and likely to fight for what we have.
Think about it, even the cell phone company makes you sign papers if you want phone service. If the contract isn't important, then why sign? Because the contract we sign is binding. It means we'll pay the bill and be responsible. We buy a case to protect it if we drop it. Add a screen protector to prevent scratches. We keep our phone in our pocket, purse, or brief case so we don't lose it. We charge our phone daily so it is always ready to go, then take it with us everywhere. The contract means we will take care of the phone, repair it if we crack the screen and return it in good condition at the end of the contract. Shouldn't marriage be, at least, similar?
Do we protect marriage the way we protect our phones? Do we value it, and care for it to make sure it lasts? Do we share our views on the importance and sanctity of the institution as a whole? We can't change the world, but we can be an example to those around us. We can let others see the happiness marriage brings; the unity and love that should be inherent in such a union. I'm grateful I married a man who is willing to fight with me to make our relationship strong. We both believe that our children are blessed by the love and unity we share. Our marriage and family isn't always perfect, but I wouldn't change a thing!
**Week 2**
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